On Writing

These are dark days.   I am alone with my thoughts, cut off from people I love because they don't want to know, and I can't make them understand.   Today I found solace in a passage from Erica Jong's SEDUCING THE DEMON, a book about the craft of writing.   I think it is important, so I will share it here.  
"Telling how 'that book' went on and on and on so it almost obliterated everything else I did; how I became a mother (once), a stepmother (once), a grandmother (twice so far), and a wife (four times) and still went on trying to tell the truth as I saw it.   I'm not planning to cover up my stumbles along the way nor my many mistakes nor all the times I made an absolute fool of myself.   Writing a book in your twenties that becomes a worldwide phenomenon hardly prepares you for the silence and despair of a writer's life.   My life was not typical.   But no writer's life is typical.   By its very nature, writing is unique to every writer.   Practicing writing is like practicing freedom.   You are always on your way, never there.  People are constantly asking, 'How did you do it?'   After a while you start to ask yourself."   
I am a complete, blown-away Erica Jong fan.   I've met her, touched her hand, and marveled at the sparkle in her eyes.   I admire her writing, and her truth.   But her stories are not my stories, and her truths are not the same as mine.   I admire her because it seems she can access the depths of her being and describe what she finds there in a manner that sheds light on all of modern day existence.  My family dismisses Erica Jong, just as they dismiss me.   She writes about sex, erotic themes, seduction, nudity, the "zipless fuck" and so much more.   Sometimes it isn't polite, but it is true, and she describes it with an artist's passion and insight.   I try to do the same.   On good days I am able to access my own depths, and express what I find there.   I labor to explain, to help the reader understand.   This morning I received a note from a fan saying that my words are valid and appreciated.   Sometimes the words erupt from me and I am amazed at what I have written.   If you are a writer, you know what I am describing.   Most people will never know.   My heartfelt truth comes when it is ready, and goes where it goes of its own accord.  Sometimes, some people will be offended.   That does not make me evil.   I dare the reader to think, to feel, to understand.   If they cannot, well, I am only practicing freedom.   On my way, never there.   I ask myself many questions, and the answers sometimes come from my depths.   The silence and despair of the writer's life, whether the result is a best-seller or a non-seller, is necessary.